I know this topic is over mentioned in the personal development world, but I have no apology for the fact that I know I can put a new spin on it, so if you are in feel free to read on… If you have ever been on an airplane, you probably remember the rather amusing show given before each flight. The flight attendant stands at the front of the airplane, with a forced smile, not much different than the clowns at a circus. At some level, I’m sure many of them enjoy their job, and they have some amazing smiles, but you can tell by the rest of their body language that it’s merely forced like changing diapers on a child.
That being said, with a non-inflated air flotation device around their neck, they hold up a small mask, .jpg)
not to indifferent to the one that they use at the hospital when you have an asthma attack or a c-pap machine. It has a clear hose, and the attendant informs the passengers (most of which are ignoring them, or like me I’m so entertained, I’m fixated on the event), “if the cabin loses air pressure, a mask like this will drop down from the ceiling above you. Please take the mask, put it on your face, and move the head strap to the back of your head. It’s most important that you put the mask on yourself first, then put the mask on your child or assist your neighbor.” That being said it’s probably just a distraction to stop people from screaming like school girls with a spider in their hair as the plane plummets to the ground, at the speed of the force of gravity, combined with the forward inertia of the plane which until just a few minutes before had other directional intentions.
What can we learn from this?
OK, this little tale is straightforward, or so it would seem. Yea, Yea, Yea, put the mask on yourself first then take care of everyone else. But, the real lesson is how can you take care of others if you don’t first take care of yourself. It’s like putting gas in someone else’s car and leaving none for yourself. I used to make all sorts of excuses why I didn’t wish to give the guy standing at the street corner asking for money anything because I was taught it was not a good idea to encourage them. But, in actuality, it was because I was truly in a broke mindset.
In order to share food and money with others, you must have food and money to be able to give them. People who truly live in abundance, have more than enough food and money and must give some away or it may go to waste. Much like the oxygen mask, once yours is on the mental state of humanity urges you to give the other mask to the person next to you. Unless of course you are a resource miser and refuse to share the extra oxygen mask out of fear that you may need the second mask. Can you imagine just how ridiculous this concept really is? You’re about to die, so now you’re going to add to the mystery by screwing the person next to you. This is a laughable example of what people are doing every day by refusing to take money for the value they are receiving, to the advancement of being able to share with others.
How do I find a balance
The first goal is to find a sense of harmony and balance between your mind and spirit. Not the religious cosmic spirit, but the charismatic interaction with others. Some people go way too far in the wrong direction. They give and give almost like an addiction or a supplicative attempt to get approval. Like it’s a coping mechanism to make up for something that happened to them when they were younger. Ie. People pleaser… I know you’ve never met one of them. They give until they don’t have enough money for food, or clothing or even to pay their rent. It gives them a reward to see others happy. You often feel guilty about not accepting what they offer because it means so much to them, and you feel bad about taking anything from them because you know how much they are giving up to give you something. Then there are people who go completely the other direction; they way overshoot the target and hoard like the guy who has two oxygen masks on the airplane about to crash. I realize this sounds ridiculous, but I’m telling you I’ve seen it.
So at the end of the day, the best bet is to come up with a standardized system or formula. The Bible and many financial gurus suggest 10%. It’s not an exact accounting, and it’s a personal decision how much to give or not give. As long as you don’t put yourself into a dire straight by giving too much. Anytime you are taking away from your family’s comfort and happiness; you are in the moral compromise of giving away the oxygen mask to the neighbor instead of putting on on yourself and your kids first. If you find that you need to give is so exaggerated, that you feel bad for not giving or you are giving 80% of what you have, it may be time to consider either finding a way to make more money or to see a therapist. I’m not being sarcastic or exaggerative there are some people who are so badly damaged in their past, or childhood, to the point where they feel obligated to give far more than is reasonable, and those people need to seek professional help.
So what’s the point?
Obviously helping other people feels good, but you can overdo it. Usually, this happens in extremes and may be a sign of mental health concerns. As always I don’t judge, but I would suggest they see a therapist if I was asked. Anything that is good or bad for the human population as a whole probably shouldn’t be taken to extremes. That being said, be sure you are taken care yourself and that have enough extra to share, and be sure not to attach requirements or outcomes to the act of sharing. We are just stewards of the money of our legacy, it was never actually ours, and you should not feel bad about sharing the extra mask. An abundance mentality will allow this to happen with gratitude for the opportunity to give to someone who needs help.