Are you or is someone you know one of those people who play the blame game? It sounds something like this… It’s XYZ’s fault because… or a better one is she or he made me do it by… Now I by no means am saying that you’re always to blame, but the deeper question do you feel like a victim? Do you feel and act like the world is happening to you?
The Victim Mentality:
It’s hard sometimes because it seems like the world is coming at you at light speed and you’re just somehow supposed to manage all of it as if you were born an expert. Sometimes you may feel just a little rejected. You may even think someone else is holding you accountable for something that is not actually anything you have done yourself. The worst part is that it may even be that someone is actually working against you and it seems like the people who know and love you are just dismissive and ignoring the fact you are being hurt.
Over time these feelings can start to build up and even begin to reprogram your mind to believe that you are the victim, and the world is happening to you, not for you. You may even feel helpless and even want to just give up trying to fix anything because as soon as it’s fixed something else just seems to break. The simple fact is you feel like you just deserve or need a break and your not getting one.
Law of attraction:
There is a simple law that what you think about you bring about. It’s actually even simpler than that; Keep doing what you are doing and keep getting the same results. “So how’s that workin for ya?” Yes, I know that stings a little, but it’s the truth. So if you keep complaining about something, your subconscious will start to adopt it as a new way of thinking. It will go so far as to believe that what you are focusing on is the safest position for your continued survival and you will subconsciously do whatever it takes to get more of the same. Yes, that’s right believe it or not, in most maybe not all cases, if you think like your poor, you’re going to stay poor.
Challenges and Obstacles:
A major mind shift for me was to stop calling obstacles problems. There are no problems, there are only challenges. It really takes the teeth out of the shark. It’s almost disturbing how even the biggest opposition shrinks to a little puppy dog once you rename it a challenge. This being the case you can now overcome the challenge. You no longer need to seek an external solution but instead a skill, or technique that is inside of you to beat the problem. Years ago there was a TV show called Mc Guyver. He was in a nearly un-survivable position at least once every episode, and much like the A-Team he always looked around him for what was available and created a new solution. One that got him out of the situation he was in just in time.
Failure Vs. Feedback:
When I talk my kids, friends, and coaching clients, I try to illustrate for them that the world is just a giant science experiment. When a scientist tries something and it works they celebrate, but if the experiment does not work, they do not see it as a failure, but simply as feedback. They do not stop trying, they don’t whine about it. Although it may be frustrating, if Thomas Edison had given up, there is a chance it would have been several years before we had a light bulb.
History is just chock full of people who realize that if something doesn’t work, you may just need to hold that information for a future experiment. Share it with others and use it to create new opportunities. So re-channeling your mindset to see opportunities, not failures, and challenges not problems, can really help you to get over the poor me victim mentality. The next time you get frustrated, stop, take a breath and think about the lesson you have just learned. How will it help you moving forward to save time, or even create something else instead?