As a coach who focuses on family leveraged entrepreneurial spirit, the work-life balance can often be a confusing topic. When we refer to family, it not only refers to the legacy of our children but how our children interact with the world in which they live. Teaching children that it’s not only a great idea to give back to the community in which they live, but it allows you to leverage your efforts to give back.
What happened to the village?
There is much research to support the reality that ‘all work and no play’ lifestyles not only cause dysfunction the family
and the divorce rate to soar. It extends into a lack of support for the community, and neighborhoods. In the past neighbors took care of each other. The saying was it take a couple to make a child but it takes a village to raise a child has been weekend by the lack of the support system of the village. When I was a kid, we played in all of the houses that had kids. It allowed our parents to be able to get their tasks done without us being in the way, and we were safe. Today neighbors are like strangers, and this not only stresses the parents of today but as their parents’ age, it can cause stress on the children of senior citizens to bear more responsibility to their parents than ever before.
It’s normal to wave to neighbors, smile and say good morning, but how many are you able to name? How many kids do they have? How old are the kids? What are their hobbies? What do they do for work? Has social networking removed the need for the community where you live? Much of our life is spent with our working family. However, back in the day, it was normal to have a block party, birthday party, graduation party, Christmas party, etc. that included the entire neighborhood.
Gratuity, should it be based on service? Or a standard rate?
Legacy included philanthropy. However, many people are of the opinion that philanthropy focuses on giving money or food to others in the name of kindness and generosity. Actually, in my experience under the “Law of Attraction,” part of the law requires one to share the abundance they receive. The bible says 10% I like a nice even round number of as much as I feel I can give. This includes when I go out to eat, the tip to the server is included in my give back to the community. I received value from the server in that I didn’t need to get up and get my own food. In exchange for that, I am sharing some of my abundances. Depending on the service I get I generally give 15% for Sub Par service, 20% for good service and 25%+ for amazing service. On the rare occasion that I feel like they deserve less than 15% I ask them what’s going on, are they having a bad day or what? I usually find that something so tragic has happened that I get the urge to give more than 25%. If they are just nasty, then they get 15%… That’s only happened a couple of times. However, at the end of the day I am only a steward of the money, and truthfully, I feel that I should be willing to assume the meal will cost an extra 25%. I still struggle with this, and I welcome any advice or input on the subject.
Make giving a goal:
Now you can actually make it a goal to give back to the community and others. As you give more, you are actually successful. You should celebrate the success of giving someone else an amazing experience. Some people are so engaged in their career that they can’t even achieve personal goals. Making it a point to volunteer as a big brother, big sister or a sports coach gives the entrepreneur/workaholic the opportunity to give back to the community and a chance to get away from work. It will require some scheduling, but again the positive feelings of success will encourage the achievement of more goals.
Many of the philanthropic entrepreneurs who I listen to their podcast give to building schools worldwide. Some people give openly, and others don’t want anyone to know that they are giving. I think it doesn’t truly make a difference if others know or not, it’s the end result of helping to improve the world that matters.
If we don’t love our neighbors what happens?
Out of desperation when people can get what they need from friends and neighbors, the community must turn to the government to supply services to fill this gap, taxes rise, and people remain strangers. With crazy works schedules, families must struggle to meet obligations at the cost of children failing to properly mature emotionally. Divorce is commonplace, and single parents are under even more stress with even less time to pay attention to children. Down the slippery slope, we go… Poor role models for marriage, relationships, and family result in a whole new generation of dysfunction from people who just don’t know how to socialize in a social species. Without the influx of positive role models, the problem will continue to perpetuate without resolve.
Ironically many of the next generations have responded with a work ethic based on self-entitlement and expectations that their boss is to be their surrogate parent. However, there is a really simple way to fix all of this. If we start to say hello to our neighbors and get to know them as well as share our children with them. Teach our children that having pride in what we are doing whether it be a job, a career or a simple task should all be done as if it’s the most important thing we have ever done. If we don’t make the change now, surely, we will find our selves surrounded by a generation of veterans of dysfunctional families who never know the love of fitting into a village.